| I can't wait to get on the road again |
[09 Dec 2009|06:24pm] |
This is kind of tangential to my other post but it didn't seem right to include it there so here it is.
I'm somewhat afraid that Eric is more into my body than he is into me. We talk on the phone well and can hang out with other people and have a good time, but when it's just the two of us hanging out at his place, it's almost immediately hookup time. We seldom have very intimate conversations and the closest we've come was when we discussed previous relationships and that other time he told me about his aversion to any kind of religion in public. We've never been out to dinner or to a show or anything like that (unless you count the meteor shower), which I suppose is somewhat understandable for a hooking up type thing, but we're coming up on a month that we've been doing this. Plus Garrett and I ate out a few times, so maybe the hookup part doesn't even matter. My point is, without making this too much of a thing, I want to go do something with Eric so it's not the usual gchat-tv/movie-sleepover-breakfast thing while still avoiding any kind of relationship talk. I don't think we're ready for that.
All of that said, I usually have a really good time with Eric. Besides being good at kissing and stuff, he's funny and fun to be around and isn't afraid to be silly.
Also, he's about to be an uncle, which is kind of freaking me the fuck out. His brother's having a kid (probably as I type this) and he's casually hooking up with me. WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN.
I guess, more than being afraid that he's only into my body, I am afraid that I don't knock his socks off with every facet of my being, which is what I really want. I want him to be wildly impressed by everything I think and say and do, which is probably just impossible to expect of someone of his level of accomplishment. Oh well.
This is as disjointed and confusing as the last entry.
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| Fold it fold it fold it |
[01 Dec 2009|09:24pm] |
I'm having the kind of day where I pretend there's no world outside my bedroom door. It's going to bite me in the ass soon, but it's nice for now.
1901 by Phoenix makes me want to run away to the south of France or Corsica or Brasilia and wear sheer clothing and get a deep tan and eat fruit all day.
I need to stop shopping with less than two hours of sleep under my belt. It leads to unsound purchases.
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| Can you cut it? I can cut it, cause I'm a rough gem! |
[25 Nov 2009|09:12am] |
I'm thankful to be on the receiving end of an economic structure that disenfranchises so many. I'm also thankful for a family with which I look forward to spending time.
Is it normal to be feeling down? I'm not sure if it's because Eric left or if it's because he was here in the first place.
Who lives in those lights in the distance?
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| Stack shot Billy in the back of the head |
[22 Nov 2009|11:22pm] |
I am thankful for people who restore old houses. And the seasons, as long as we have them.
This weekend was a blastos, starting with dinner at Shana's, the night/morning at Eric's, the party in Glenside with my ladiez, and ending with another dinner at Shana's.
As I walked up the stairs to her apartment tonight, I thought about how I'd done the same thing last Sunday night, but under considerably different conditions. I like this week's better.
I love that Eric is willing to text me every day to see what I'm up to, but he may have recently crossed the line from sweet and attentive to coming on too strong. I am impossible to please.
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| La la la la lalalalala la |
[21 Nov 2009|05:18pm] |
At any given point last night I was doing one of following:
-sleeping
-eating cookies
-making out
I win.
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| And on the bus I could have sworn it was all a dream |
[17 Nov 2009|09:21am] |
I'm thankful for my fully functioning body.
Going to see the meteor shower with Eric tonight. I have a creeping feeling that I should be up front with him.
Edit! Did I say "try not to be a slut and maybe keep my hands to myself for once"? Because what came out was "sure, stay over." D'oh.
I'm thankful for alarm clocks.
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| Someone to open each and every door |
[16 Nov 2009|10:04pm] |
I'm thankful for my fully functioning body.
Going to see the meteor shower with Eric tonight. I have a creeping feeling that I should be up front with him.
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| Step back and here comes the nighttime |
[15 Nov 2009|07:55pm] |
I'm thankful for my childhood.
Edit: Well, that little experiment is over. I was right in suspecting that he was not going to put more into whatever we were doing, but I think the confrontation surprised him. He said he never meant to make me feel bad or not appreciated, and it occurs to me that the two of us probably needed that, whatever it was, so we could get all the fuckup out of our systems and maybe do something right with the right person.
I'm a little sad about it right now because I liked spending time with him and I'll miss him, but as he left he told me that I was probably making the right decision, and I think he's right about that.
Edit on the Edit: NOW TO CHAT UP THE SECOND DUDE. I am the worst.
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| Maybe I'll paint them in myself |
[14 Nov 2009|10:51pm] |
Hanging with Eddie and Jess this weekend was wonderful, including almost getting caught stealing :-/ and having my first grease truck sammich.
I am thankful for birth control, even though I apparently don't know how to operate it.
( Whining. )
I'm going to read for like ten more minutes and then I'm going out for drinks with Eric and some other kids. Woo hoo.
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| Sit back and wave through the daylight |
[13 Nov 2009|07:04am] |
I guess this is what happens when you go to bed at 10:30. I could do without this sinus headache though.
I'm thankful to have been born in a country that allows dissent.
The Rutgers game with Tommy and Lauren last night was a lot of fun. I'd like to hang out with them more frequently.
I love my new phone.
I feel like I don't see Garrett enough. This may be a premature assessment but I'd like to spend more time with him during the week before I take this any further. Also, Eric keeps contacting me. Maybe I should be real single for a while? This is confusing.
Just looked out my window. There's no way I'm going for a jog. I'm losing my waist though. :(
I'm pretty sure my belly just talked to me. It said "mad dog." Or maybe it was "bad dog." I'm going back to bed.
I wish this song could play wherever I walk.
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| Fall through like change in the daylight |
[12 Nov 2009|12:02pm] |
Eric came out with my Apple and I last night and we had a lovely time. He is a mysterious creature. "You're the motherfucker." "Empirically speaking, after extensive research, it has been determined that you, in fact, are the motherfucker." This is going to be incredible.
I think I may have mentioned this before, but I am thankful for love. Not just the love between two people in love, but love between friends and siblings and cousins and the love that you feel for other human beings walking down the street and living their lives and all the love that has happened and all the love that will happen and the potential for love any and everywhere.
I found a free download of Daylight on the interwebz. Win.
I'm going to my first Rutgers football game today with Lauren and Tommy instead of caring about school. Eeps.
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| Oh elope with me in private and we’ll set something ablaze |
[11 Nov 2009|07:48am] |
I'm posting things I'm thankful for til Thanksgiving. I'm putting it on here though, not on Facebook, cause I already inundate people with enough nonsense on that thing.
I'm thankful for windows that open.
I'm at Bloustein rather early this morning so I can work on my presentation.
We probably won't get around to it today but I should most likely be prepared.
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| Playing Sara with no H's favorite song |
[09 Nov 2009|07:33am] |
I should be showering but I just can't get enough of the interwebz. I continue to wake up around 6 or so and it's starting to bother me less. I like having a big cushion of time to ready myself for the day.
I need to order more fat lady shakes.
I also need to contact some people to prevent a life-changing turn of events.
Running three miles and then playing two games of soccer was probably one of the worst things I could have done to my body yesterday. Despite it being unseasonably warm yesterday, it was still chilly when we were waiting around between games and I got a little bit of a runny nose. My head started hurting after the last game and by the time I got home I was hardly able to move because I was so stiff. I took some ibuprofen for my head and muscles but forgot that you're supposed to eat with it and became nauseated. It was not pleasant. Also, I think I did something to my elbow during the game, probably one of the numerous times I literally fell down on the job. I'm pretty sure I gave my cleats away, but I wonder if they might not still be in my closet. I'm feeling much better this morning, thank goodness, but my mobility is still somewhat compromised.
This is going to be a hella busy week, especially since I got almost nothing done this weekend. Readings for environmental econ, presentation for theory, paper topic for energy policy, exam for urban economics next Monday and a history paper for which I have done zero research due next Wednesday. Nuts.
Potential visitors this week: Apple, Lauren, Eddie.
Edit: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THE BUCCANEERS? Hell.
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| Gotta get a move on fit for the sun |
[06 Nov 2009|01:12am] |
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The idea of waking up in a mere... six hours to attend a planning conference is abhorrent.
I think things might be coming to a head with my roommate.
This will be interesting.
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[05 Nov 2009|03:55pm] |
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Finally got a new phone, text me your first and last name so I can add you to my contacts list. And Pantene, I would like you to explain to me with a straight face the difference between "touchable softness and strength" and "silky smoothness and strength." Sounds like someone in the marketing department needs to put down the thesaurus.
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